Well… A quarter of 2018 just passed just like this. Quite fast ah?
I am not a love guru expert but I guess I have dated enough to write this post to help you, ladies, whether you are in a relationship, about to be in a relationship or just gotten out of a relationship or got your love unreciprocated, I hope I can help you.
So for the last 3 quarter of 2018, my 18 pieces of advice are…
#1 Move on
If he doesn’t like you now, he wouldn’t like you in the future. Even he will that is not love, probably just the girl he likes rejected him and you are just a spare tyre!
So would you wanna be a spare tyre? No right?? So move on lah!!!
#2 Cherish him
If you have someone you love and he loves you too, then cherish the relationship. Don’t regret when he is gone. Don’t take him for granted. It’s not easy for 2 people to fall in love so please please please cherish this person.
#3 Let him go
If you are in a toxic relationship, there might be violence, no more love, no more touching or sweet moments, it’s all tears and drama. Then let him go!!!
No point making your life miserable. If you want drama, go watch Korean Drama!! HAHAHAHA!
#4 Don’t blame yourself.
You’re never entirely at fault if the relationship starts to suffer. So don’t blame yourself completely if you’re experiencing a bad relationship. Accept responsibility, but don’t blame yourself unless it really is your fault.
#5 You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed.
Help your man understand you better and help him learn by example. But if he doesn’t want to change for you, perhaps, he doesn’t respect you or care enough for you, then you need someone else who can love you for who you are.
#6 Don’t constantly remind him of his past failures.
Men are very sensitive when it comes to past mistakes. He’ll clam up like a shell if you use his past failures to get him to accept defeat or listen to you.
#7 Men can’t read minds.
As convinced as you are that men should have the innate ability to read a woman’s mind, they really can’t. So speak your mind and he will listen to your thoughts.
#8 Praise him for his achievements.
Praise him even if it’s small. He’ll try harder all the time just to win your praise.
#9 Don’t try too hard to please your man if your gestures aren’t reciprocated.
He’d just take you for granted. Instead, make him realize just how lucky he is to have you. Most guys just take things for granted instead of realizing how lucky they are.
#10 Be his shoulder to lean on.
As macho as he seems, he’s almost always a child who needs a woman’s love to give him emotional strength.
#11 Make Sure This is What You Want
You might feel you want something serious with a particular guy. However, prior to taking any kind of steps, you need to be sure.
Take a step back and then ask yourself some questions, such as:
- Whether you have fun with him or not.
- If your mood is improved when he is around you.
- If you feel good about yourself when you part ways.
- And, most essentially if you feel respected or not.
You should notice his actions and find out if he is acting jealous and keeping an eye on all of your movements. If so, then you should re-evaluate things.
Avoid forcing yourself to believe that he is a nice guy and hasn’t done anything wrong, which is why you should continue being with him. This is like convincing yourself of something that probably isn’t right. The bottom line is that you need to be in a relationship where you feel happy and respected. You should feel good without him, but even better when you are with him.
#12. Comparing Him to Someone is an Absolute No-No
One thing that you always need to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t go looking for your old relationship in the new guy. If you keep on looking for similarities, then you will end up with someone who is completely like your ex. This is definitely not going to work in your favor. Instead of this, you should look for qualities that you would like your ideal boyfriend to have.
If you distrust him simply because your ex-boyfriend cheated on you, then you will be disregarding the good qualities of your present boyfriend. Do not be worried that some mistake on your part is going to make him look for other girls. What happened with your ex wasn’t completely your fault. Your present partner is an absolutely different person and thus, you should never compare him to your past.
#13. Do Not Call Him, Let Him Call You
If you are calling and texting your partner incessantly and also doing all the asking out, then a man will not even have to lift a finger. The best relationship advice for women from men is: You need to keep the communication in balance. This does not mean that you never ever reach out to the man that you are dating but, you should allow him to ask you out at least in the early stages.
In case you feel that you are guilty of overcalling, then you need to take a break and find out if your partner puts in the effort to communicate with you. If he does, then this is certainly happy news for you. If he does not, then you need to move on. You need to be with someone who will want to reach out to you, call you frequently and ask you out.
Also, you should not get upset if he takes some time to reply to your text. He might have other things going on during that time. So, give them some time to reply before you text them again.
#14. A Little Appreciation for Your Partner Goes a Long Way
You should let your partner know the things that you like and admire about them. You need to tell them about those qualities that make you proud of him. Make him realize his strengths to make him feel good about himself. One of the secrets of a long and fulfilling relationship is keeping the appreciation alive for your partner. Showing appreciation will work wonders in the relationship.
If you are unsure as to where to start then you should start off with compliments on a daily basis. The rule that you need to follow here is to make sure that you mean whatever you are saying to your partner. You should help your partner to achieve their potential by building them constantly.
#15. Be Careful Not to Distort Reality
Do you have negative thoughts about your relationship? Do you keep feeling that your partner is going to desert you? Researchers have noticed that unhappy couples tend to focus more on the negative aspects of their relationships. If you find yourself a victim of this kind of feeling for certain actions of your partner, then the next time you have such thoughts, try to rationalize it with some neutral explanation for the action.
#16. Do Not Lose Yourself in Him
It is easy to let go of certain aspects of yourself when you meet someone whom you consider to be the man of your dreams, but you shouldn’t. If you are trying to be someone you are not, you tend to become transparent to your partner. If you prefer reading a book at home instead of going to the football match, then you should not pretend to love Germany just because your guy is a football fan.
You should keep your own interests. You need to show him how exciting your life is, even when he isn’t around. It makes it appealing to a man when a female has her own autonomy and strength. The more he discovers about you, the more fantastic life you are going to have.
Remember, there is always a need for personal space in a relationship. You should not try to please your man in any case. And if you find out that your gestures aren’t being reciprocated then you should stop doing so immediately.
#17. Understand His Anger
Outbursts of anger are quite common in a healthy relationship. Nonetheless, if your anger becomes a significant part of your couple life then there is enough reason to be concerned and it is one of the relationship problems many women deal with. Anger has been referred to as the secondary emotion.
Think about the last argument that you had with your partner and use it to look for hidden messages in all that both you and your partner were trying to communicate. You should attempt to tune in your tone and try to tune in all that you wanted to convey. This will make you see the needs that you have in your relationship. Like in an argument, “You forgot to pick up milk when I reminded you several times,” really implies, “I miss you and want you to spend more time with me.”
#18. Go On a Vacation.
Find a reason to leave him alone for a couple of weeks or even a month. It can either be a vacation with your friends or a long business trip. Allow him to feel how much he misses you and how empty his life is without you. If he is the right person for you, he will realize that he wants to do everything possible not to let you go again.
Hopefully, my 18 pieces of advice help you not just in 2018!